


Together, the long way round.

by GabrielArchangelOfTheLord



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Background Destiel, Canon Compliant, M/M, Mates, Mating Bonds, Over protective Ex Mate, Sabriel - Freeform, Sassy Cassie, Sortof, diverges in places, eventually everything about the end is canon divergent, no im not gonna say which one, okay its not the first one, oveedr protective ex mate, s13 fix it, smut in later parts of chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2020-03-09 04:46:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18909847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabrielArchangelOfTheLord/pseuds/GabrielArchangelOfTheLord
Summary: Sam gets his mate back. Only to find out about Monte Carlo and porn-stars. Dean tries to keep his little brother together in all of this but in the end will his heart get what it wants or will it be ripped in two?





	1. Unfinished business.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I may have been watching Sabriel AMVs on youtube, in amidst watching S13 and couldn't help but want season 13 to end differently. so excuse it if you will. This is also clearly the longest single chapter I think I have EVER written!

“Hmm? Wanna call up Donna and say, Hey, sorry about your niece. These kinds of things happen.” Dean was snarky, Sam could understand why. Donna was family and by extension so was Wendy, least until they found her. “And head back to the bunker so you can mope some more?”  
“I'm not moping.” Sam grunted, he wasn’t moping. He wasn’t.  
“You got up at 10:00 a.m. this morning.” Dean was incredulous now, he knew his brother was taking everything hard recently, Jack was AWOL and mum had disappeared into the apocalypse world, they didn’t even know if either of them would come back. “10:00 a.m. You, Mr. Rise and Freakin' Shine.  
And then you turned down pancakes!”  
“I wasn't hungry.” Even Dean knew he was bullshitting, he watched Dean take a beer from the fridge and turn back to look at him with a look in his eye that clearly stated, ‘I don’t believe you.’  
“They're pancakes!” Normally it was the only truly unhealthy thing he indulged in besides alcohol. He loved pancakes, they reminded him of Gabriel. It had been 8 years and yet he still had his pancakes with strawberry syrup. With everything else that had gone on in recent years he was missing his mate more and more.  
“Y-- Look, I know you're in a dark place right now, okay? I mean, we lost Jack. Mom. I think about him too, you know. All the time. What happened sucked ass, but you can't let it eat you up.”  
After that they dived right in, turned out it was the FBI agent running a chop shop for human parts to sell to monsters on the dark web.  
Doug had just left, Sam’s head hung slightly, he knew how Donna felt and yet his next sentence still left his mouth, “Donna, when you choose this life, anyone who gets too close, eventually, they get hurt, or worse. So, let him go. He'll be safer that way.”  
Sam stalked out of the warehouse, he felt rotten about saying that, but he didn’t want Donna to carry around the guilt and loneliness he had carried around for so long. He knew he was becoming embittered, but he couldn’t help it. Every passing day, week, month, year the pain of separation from his mate grew heavier.  
Once back in the car Dean levelled Sam with a look, “don’t you think you were a little harsh on Donna back there?”  
“Everything I'm saying is the truth. It's our lives. And I tried to pretend it didn't have to be. I tried to pretend we could have Mom back and Cas and -- and help Jack. But we can't. This ends one way for us, Dean. It ends bloody. It ends bad.” Sam was soft spoken as he watched the scenery pass them by, “I just wanted to save Donna some heartbreak, better learn it now then watch the ones you love leave you.  
After that the impala fell silent.

 

____ PAGE BREAK____

 

“D-did we just get sucked into the TV? Or maybe this is an angel thing. Or -- or the Trickster.” They never called him by his actual name anymore, Dean knew it hurt Sam too much to hear his mates name said out loud. He knew this couldn’t be Gabriel, Gabriel was dead, the haul of dragging Sam through the months that followed Gabriel's death confirmed that. The broken bond had almost killed him.  
“No, he's dead.” Dean heard the wobble but let it slide, he didn’t know what his brother would do if Gabriel had gone into hiding and broken the bond himself.   
Turned out they were in Scooby Doo, his favourite as a kid, and even if this was an angel thing, he was going to enjoy this. He made a show of flirting with Daphne and making jokes about it, but he would never betray his own mate. They’d kept it low-key, trying not to shove it in Sam’s face, Sam knew of course he had told his little brother when it had happened and despite how happy he knew Sam was for them it was bittersweet.  
Turned out it was a ghost, a child that was being used by the realtor. Sam was a little put off by the whole situation, but Dean managed to get a twitch of a smile by pretending to end the Scooby episode with ‘Scooby dooby doo’. Cas however didn’t seem to get it, he'd have to explain it later. 

 

____PAGE BREAK____

“Son of a bitch.” Dean had his gun trained on the men of letters assassin quicker than you could say pie. The man had his hands up in a show of peace.   
“I come in peace.”  
“Yeah, right.” Dean scoffed as he watched Sam out of the corner of his eye, his little brother had his gun pointed straight between the Englishman’s eyes. If Sam got off a shot ketch would be dead.   
“And I brought you a gift.” Ketch reached behind the wall and pulled a scruffy, bloody bag of rags into sight.  
“Wait a second.”  
“Is that…That Gabriel? No, no, that's impossible.” Sam near on choked out his words. There stood his mate. The one he had lost 8 years ago, and he wasn’t even looking at Sam, preferring to look at the concrete floor instead of anywhere else. His lips were sewed shut and his golden hair darkened from lack of light, grace and all the blood that was run through it. Sam nearly chocked out a sob but managed to compose himself in front of Ketch. “He…… He's dead.”  
“We…we saw him die.”  
“Or did you?”  
“What did you do to him?” It was accusatory and blunt, but you couldn’t put anything passed Ketch.  
“Not me. Asmodeus. The Prince was holding him prisoner until I liberated the poor man. And I understand you may need an archangel for a spell, perhaps.” The Englishman was blasé about the whole thing not understanding the magnitude of what he had presented.   
Gabriel struggled as Ketch and Dean talked about going to apocalypse world, but Sam only had eyes for the Archangel. He wasn’t the Gabriel he remembered but he was still a sight for sore eyes. And despite the lack of the bond now all Sam wanted to do was take Gabriel into his arms. “Gabriel Man, what happened to you?”  
“Well, shouldn't we wait?” Sam was eyeing Gabriel clearly torn between helping him and bucking his brother up.   
“Wait? Why? We got everything we need.” Dean seemed adamant that he was going, and he was going now. Sam hesitated he didn’t want to leave Gabriel like this. “Everything else is just burning daylight. Come on. Let's open this door.”  
“All right.” Sam shifted to the door, “I'll gather my gear.”  
“Uh hold on.” Dean mumbled as he watched Sam, he couldn’t take his brother away from Gabriel now, he would be fine with Ketch, he would just shoot the bastard if he got sneaky. “I'm heading in alone. Look, we got a busted-up archangel here. And who the hell knows what else? Okay? Somebody's gotta stay here just in case.”  
“And I'm coming with you. As I said, Asmodeus will be hunting me to the ends of the Earth, so it's better if I'm not on this Earth.” Dean and Sam glanced at Ketch barely registering what he had said as they silently communicated what Dean was trying to say to his brother, he was trying to give Sam time to be with Gabriel, and still try for a chance to get their family back.   
“It's not that much better over there. You know it's a war zone, right?” Dean was testing ketch’s resolve, it was clear the man didn’t want to be anywhere close to where Asmodeus was likely to be.  
“Won't be my first, shan't be my last.”  
“Hmm? Fine.”  
“Fine? So, you want Ketch to go and not me?” Sam was still battling with not going with Dean, after spending so much of the last 8 years depending on Dean, protecting each other it was difficult to let Dean go and stay with Gabriel, despite how much he wanted that as well.  
“I don't care if he dies, Hell, I'm kind of rootin' for it.” Dean knew there was only truly one way to make sure Sam would stay here with his angel, he knew Sam would be happier here looking after him then traipsing around apocalypse America looking for mum and Jack. He knew if Sam came with his he would spend the whole time panicking over losing Gabriel again. He wasn’t going to let that happen in a month of Sundays.   
“Still, you can't -- No, I have to.”  
“It takes something that's been over there before to open up the right door, so that's either you or me.  
So, I'm gonna go. And if something happens to me, if -- if -- if time runs out, then I need you to come and save me and save Mom and save whoever else, okay? It's safer if we go together. Oh, there's no such thing as safer over there. You know that. I know you don't like this, okay? I don't expect you to.  
This is the way it's gonna be.” Dean dealt the low blow finally securing Sam’s resolved bitch face as they started to cobble the spell together. “Something that's been there, right?”  
“All right. Remember, it's only 24 hours.” Sam knew what Dean had done and was eternally grateful he had, he didn’t want to leave his brother in that world on his own with Ketch against renegade angels and vicious hunters, but he didn’t want to leave Gabriel either, his brother had made the decision for him.  
“Koth Munto Notox.” With that the rift opened and Dean and ketch jumped through.

 

___PAGE BREAK____

Castiel came when Sam called, and he filled him in on the situation. Damn Cas could be sassy when he wanted to, and Sam got the distinct impression that he was just done with the Winchesters doing shit like this. It was only when he saw Gabriel huddled in the corner did he finally see the light of the situation. Gabriel cowered from them, making it difficult to get him on the bed. The vial of grace Sam showed him only made him cower more and when they tried to force the grace inside him to help him he flung himself off the bed into the opposite corner. “Sam, I don’t think he’s going to accept the choo-choo.”  
Sam shot Cas a quick bitch face before taking the vial of grace and leaving the room. He didn’t know how to help Gabriel in the state he was in. Standing around wasn’t helping, trying to give him his grace back wasn’t helping. He just needed to find a way to get through to his mate. And he didn’t think reminding him of the broken bond was going to help.  
It seemed like no time at all when he was called back into Gabriel's room, only to see the walls covered in Enochian symbols, “What is this? Is -- Did he do this? Enochian? It's his story.”  
“Starts with his death. Or what appeared to be his death.”  
‘Per usual, my brother had double my brawn and half my brains. He assumed the counterfeit me was what vanished that night, and he thought that he'd stabbed the real thing. The truth is, the thing Luci skewered was a fake. There are plenty of fakes to go around. Everyone believed Gabriel was gone. And suddenly, I was free. No obligation to God or Heaven, or mankind. And so, I did what anyone would do -- I moved to Monte Carlo and shacked up with porn stars.’ As Castiel read the writing on the walls Sam's heart dropped further and further into his stomach and through the floor. His mate purposefully left him. Made him think he was dead. “Well, y-- He goes on and on for quite a while about porn stars and, uh, Okay, so Gabriel was captured, delivered to Asmodeus. For years, I knew nothing but endless torture. Asmodeus, once the weakest of Hell's princes, grew strong by feeding on my grace. Well, obviously, his intellect is intact.”  
Sam nodded slowly, he hung his head and mumbled “Yeah. So why isn't he talking to us?”  
“I don't know.”  
“Maybe he can't.”  
“Or maybe he's choosing not to. Maybe he thinks it's safer that way.” Sam sighed. He didn’t know what to make of this. His heart was slowly breaking all over again. His mate left him for Monte Carlo and pornstars.  
“Gabriel, you have to dig yourself out of this hole. Look, I know you think it's safer inside. No more torture. No more pain. No more expectations. I've been there. You were nothing like your family.  
You sure as hell weren't like your dad. Me either. And just like you, I got out. Or I-I thought I got out.  
But then then my family needed me. And this is my life.” Sam had waited until Cas had disappeared before beginning to talk to Gabriel, he needed the angel to be alright, even if all the signs of not being wanted anymore were right. He had to do this one last thing for his mate. To alleviate the debt, he held in his heart after Gabriel supposedly sacrificed himself for him. “No matter how many times I tried to fight it, this is what I was put here to do. This is where I make the world a better place. And sure, yeah, hookers in Monte Carlo sounds great, but your family needs you. Jack, your nephew, needs you. The world needs you. We need you. Gabriel, I need you.”  
“Porn stars.” Sam had turned to the door at the silence that had followed his little speech. He hadn’t meant to say that much. Not really but once he got going it was a struggle to hold in the tide of swirling feelings floating about his chest. Yes, he was angry he had lost his mate, that said mate never tried to tell him what was happening, that he was alive but there was also sadness because now he knew the truth, Gabriel had never truly trusted him. He may have loved him once but what he had said in Tv land was obviously true. Even if he ad spent months trying to tell Sam that wasn’t how he truly felt about the situation. “They were porn stars, Sam.”  
“There you are.” Sam breathed a sigh of relief as he turned back to the archangel. He didn’t look any different in body, but Sam could see that behind the fear of going back was some of Gabriel's old light. Something that was just Gabriel. It was merely a flicker, but Sam finally had some hope that Gabriel would get better now. He’d survive…. Even if that meant it wasn’t with him.  
Sam called Cas and asked for Gabriel's grace. They fed it to him and Sam watched as more of that light came back to Gabriel’s eyes. That was until Sam phone rang, without looking at the caller ID Sam answered and when the accent filtered through the speaker Sam didn’t have to guess to know who it was. Gabriel jolted back before holding himself perfectly still, not even breathing. “Hello, Samuel. I hope you're having a pleasant day. It's come to my attention you boys have something that belongs to me, and I'd like it back.”  
“I don't know what you're talking about.” Sam tried to sound calm, there was no way a jumped-up demon was getting his mate. Not now, not ever.  
“Oh, I believe you do. And I'm-a give you one chance to return him to me. No harm, no foul.” Asmodeus’ voice echoed through the room they had given to Gabriel, Sam could see Gabriel watching him intently. Cas was already clearly running through scenarios though his head, seeing if there was anything that could be done. Sam knew that they wouldn’t be able to hold him off for long.   
“I'm hanging up.” Sam’s voice was deep with an edge to it he hadn’t used in some time, it was the same edge he had used when he had been sucking on demon blood. Through he no longer did that, he had been practicing using his powers in secret. He never wanted to be that helpless every again. He hadn’t told anybody yet because he knew what they would say. He’d be on lock down until they were sure he wasn’t a blood junkie again.  
“Do not hang up on me. Gabriel is of no use to you in his current condition. Should you choose to resist me, I will have no choice but to take him by force. I will reduce you and that sad little bunker of yours to ashes. You got 10 minutes to decide.” Asmodeus was clearly confident, he knew that neither Castiel or Sam had the power to stop him considering the archangel grace running through his system. “Now you can hang up.”  
“SON OF A BITCH!!!” Exploded out of Sam's mouth before he had a chance to stop it. Gabriel startled but was at least breathing again. Cas just levelled Sam with a look that Sam knew meant he understood the sentiment. “He isn’t getting Gabriel! We need to ward the hell out of this place.”  
Between Sam and Cas, they had the place warded in less than 5 minutes. Gabriel hadn’t moved, he was too shocked to move. Despite all the warding it didn’t take long for Asmodeus’ demons to break in, between him and Cas they had that sorted but it was when Asmodeus wandered in, slamming both against the wall. Sam was determined he was not going to let this prick get a hold of the archangel again. Not this time not while he was living and breathing. He clenched his hand as he watched two demons drag Gabriel up the metal staircase towards the door. That was it, game over.  
Same stood, even under the pressure of the demon’s power, “you aren’t getting Gabriel, not while I'm still breathing.”  
“That can be arranged Samuel.” The demons hand lifted higher, attempting to put more pressure on him, Sam didn’t budge. He did take a step towards the colonel look alike his own hand mirroring the demons. Cas watching in fascination and horror as he watched Sam concentrate. He would have to warn Dean, Sam had his powers back.  
Castiel watched as Sam twisted his fist and squeezed. Instead of what he had been expecting he watched as Asmodeus burnt up in his borrowed body, it was a grace kill. “Sam, did you…”  
That was when his glimpsed Gabriel, he was cleaned up although still in the rags he had been wearing. The blue haze of grace was slowly fading from his eyes. “I always hated that white suit. And as for that little show kiddo, I think we need to talk.”  
It took the next hour to convince both angels he wasn’t on demon blood, it was only after Gabriel took a tour of his brain that he realised, Sam’s powers were back because of him. “I suppose I owe you an explanation.”  
Sam could hear the fear in Gabriel voice, “you don’t owe me anything Gabriel. As much as I want you to help, I know you wont stay. Freedom, right?”  
Gabriel flinched at Sam's tone. He knew he deserved it, sorta. He had planned on telling Sam when he was safe and then shit had happened. The torture and draining of his grace meant that after a while he hadn’t even been able to hold on to his bond any more. He feared what Sam thought of that, what was going through the youngest Winchesters mind at the thought that he had been left by his mate, only to feel what he had thought was the bond breaking. Gabriel had done it that way on purpose. Hidden the bond from Sam so that he himself could get safe, and if the apocalypse had gone down before he was then he’d hoped that it would be used against him. As it turned out he wished he had let Sam know before he had been captured.   
Gabriel watched Sam turn his back to him before he heard, “will you help us, we need to get mum and Jack back.”  
“Whoa. Too much information. Okay, slow down. I'm not processing.” Gabriel had spent the last hour hearing them out. Sam had been right the chances of him staying to help were slim to none, he had revenge to get.  
“And there's more. Michael wants to come to this Earth and destroy it, and we may need your help to fight him.” If there was anything that would stop him from helping it was that. Castiel had just sealed the deal. He was going to go get his revenge before this world went to shit.  
“Welcome to the team.” Sam was sarcastic but only Gabriel would have noticed that, it was so subtle that even after all these years Gabriel could hear it meant it had been specifically been aimed at him. Sam knew he wasn’t staying, and what ever thoughts flew through Sam's head over the last few days were apparently solidified as he turned away towards the kitchen.  
“Uh yeah. Not so much. I mean, thank you for the rescue and for the redemption arc. But, uh, I'm not really a team guy, so I'm gonna bounce, okay? Um, but, you know, it's been, um What's the opposite of fun? That.” He knew he was being selfish, the set of Sam's shoulder told him that, but his mind was set now. Maybe he could come back and help after he was done getting his own back. Nobody turned their backs on him and lived to tell the tale.  
“No, Gabriel, don't -- you -- you can't just walk away. If Michael comes here, he will end this world.” Castiel clearly wasn’t getting it, but he was sure Sam would fill him in later, he was sure that when Dean returned he'd have something to say on the matter also.  
“And the last time the world was ending, I put my money on you. I think you can pull it off again.” Sam glanced round at him when he was done, a look of heart ache and contempt written in his eyes, his face may be void of anything, but Sam’s eyes told Gabriel everything he needed to know. Sam was letting Gabriel go, but he hated himself for it and he hated Gabriel for taking it.  
As Gabriel stretched his wings to go all the heard was Sam cry out, “No, Gabriel, please.”  
Gabriel hadn’t long since left when Dean stumbled through the rift.  
“Dean! Dean! Hey! Hey.” Sam was in instant panic and he could see that Cas wasn’t far behind him. Helping his brother up and to a seat he noticed that his brother had blood on his jacket.  
“Hey, you’re hurt.”  
“No, no. I'm fine. I'm fine.” Sam shot him a don’t lie to me face before realising it was just him.  
“Hey, the -- the -- the rift, it's Where's Mom? Where's Jack?”  
“Long story -- so Mom and the kid, they're not with Michael anymore. Ketch and Charlie are staying back to try to find them. There's a Charlie over there. She kicks ass.” Dean smiled, it had been so good to see Charlie again, even if it wasn’t his Charlie.   
“T-- Uh, Charlie Bradbury?” Dean nodded, Sam almost smiled, if he hadn’t been put through the ringer today he would have been happy to hear that. But he knew his brother’s reaction was coming and he wasn’t looking forwards to that.  
“What's this? What – what… What'd I miss?”  
“There was a demon incursion, led by Asmodeus.” Castiel was succinct, he too knew that his mate’s reaction was going to be a violent one.  
“Sorry, Asmodeus got in here?”  
“Yeah, and -- and -- and Gabriel killed him.” Sam's voice was soft as he replied, it was strange saying his mates name out loud to Dean after so long. His brother was so caught up in this turn of events that what came next wasn’t censored at all. “He just left.”  
“Gabriel? That's great. So, he's back. What do you mean, he left?”  
“Um, we asked Gabriel to help us, and then he said sayonara.”  
“He doesn't get to say sayonara! We still have his grace, though, right? Sam?”  
“Uh, we -- we used his grace to -- to heal him. “  
“So, it -- it's gone. It's all gone. So, if it's gone, then that means that we can't open that door again.  
If we can't open the door, then I should've never come back! Son of a bitch!” Dean threw whatever was on the table on to the floor, he didn’t even stop to see Sam flinch as he slammed his fist down on the wood. “Every time! Every time we get close, it always falls apart. Every Freakin' time.”  
“Dean we will find Gabriel. We will.” Castiel had to speak he could see Sam struggling around the lump in his throat. He watched as Sam silently slipped from the room, Dean none the wiser.  
“We better.”

___PAGE BREAK____

It had been days since Sam had disappeared mid Dean-rant. Dean hadn’t noticed until later that night. It quickly occurred to him what had happened, and how insensitive he had been. His brother had to watch his mate leave him. Again. At least last time Sam had been sure that Gabriel was dead. He had hunted the bunker in hopes of finding him, but where ever he looked he couldn’t find him. Dean was eventually convinced by Cas to leave Sam to come out on his own. It only worked when he informed Dean that he knew where his brother was and that he was fine.

In those days, Gabriel had hunted down the ways and means to kill his captors and started on the list. Starting with big hulking man strolling down the alley way. He eased out of the shadows of the dumpster, kazoo in his mouth, an eerie haunting melody easing into the air around him, “Fenrir Odensbane.”  
“Gabriel.”  
“I said I’d do this honourably, no tricks, just mano-a-mano.” Fenrir scoffed as Gabriel dragged out a wooden sword. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t bring along a toy.”  
He took a huge woven claw to the side, but he managed to stick Fenrir with the sword. He smirked down at the body as he swiped the name on his list through with blood.   
They had asked Rowena to help them find Gabriel. Dean wanted the archangel to help, and Sam just wanted to make sure his… ex-mate was safe. He knew Gabriel would resist helping them. They followed Rowena’s tracking spell all over the country until they ended up in a motel in Texas. Some little dive, where unpacking was going to be unnecessary. Sam knew that Gabriel wouldn’t be here. That was until someone knocked and opened the door.  
“Hey, fellas. Looking for me?” Sam looked the little archangel over and saw the blood marring his crisp white shirt.   
“A little? How'd you know we were here?” Sam hadn’t expected this. He had expected Gabriel to give them the slip if he had even been in this run-down town.   
“Come on. I felt your witch's tracking spell the second she laid it on me. Tasted like haggis.” Gabriel smirked as he watched the two brothers stare at him. He knew showing up at their door had been risky. But he'd needed somewhere to hole up before he went after the others on his list.   
“So now you're in trouble?” Dean was blunt as always and Sam was stuck between not wanting to scare Gabriel away and turfing him out on his rear for having the audacity to come to them for help after everything.   
“What gave you that idea?”  
“You show up on our doorstep, bleeding like a stuck pig.” Dean gestured wildly at Gabriel's mussed and bloody shirt. Sam eased Gabriel towards the seat against the far wall before disappearing to gather first aid supplies from the back of the impala.  
“This? Eh, you know, you roll into town for a little R&R, stumble into the wrong poker game, take a guy's money, his wife things get messy.” Sam and Dean knew that Gabriel was deflecting the question. He clearly wasn’t comfortable talking about it. Sam watched Gabriel wince as he cleaned the obvious claw marks in his abdomen.  
“You're trying to tell us you came here for R&R? Yeah, this isn't exactly the Riviera.”  
“I know, right? Yeah, so anyway, um I don't suppose you guys have any more of my grace laying around, right? 'Cause, uh, the tank's a little low.” Sam eased the gauze over the wound before stepping away. He kept his head down and tried not to show the single tear threatening to make its way down his cheek.  
“Oh, did you drain it killing Asmodeus?”  
“And ditching you. It'll recharge. Eventually.” Sam kept his back to both his brother and his… the angel whilst busying himself with packing away everything he had used. He hadn’t needed to here that he had been ditched. Again. He knew Gabriel didn’t truly mean it as a dig, but the sharp lance of pain skating across his chest didn’t know the difference.  
“But, uh, until then Whatever we didn't use on you, we used to open up a rift.” Dean had been tactful with that answer, Sam was almost impressed as he managed to compose himself enough to turn around and face the others. He didn’t want to be too suspicious about how much this entire situation was messing with his mind and self esteem. He had loved Gabriel with everything he was. And here he was left in Gabriel's dust as he moved on.   
“Cool. Super dupes. Okay. Well, uh, in that case, gentlemen, I must bid you a fond adi-- Ohh!” Gabriel had obviously moved too quickly and hunched slightly as the wound tugged in his vessels skin. “Yeah, nope. Maybe after a little siesta.”  
“Whoa.” Sam moved to grab Gabriel as he looked to be struggling to stand but the archangel made it back to the seat with out too much hassle and Sam felt silly with how much he still worried about the man.   
“I hate this almost mortal crap, you know. Needing to piss and sleep. Not really my style.” Sam rolled his eyes before moving to his bed and taking a seat. It was about as far as he was going to get from Gabriel in this tiny room. “And since you two are all fresh out, it's time for me to say sayonara.”  
It didn’t take long for whomever Gabriel had been hunting hunted them down. The door flew in and almost off its hinges as both Narfi and Skol crashed through the doorway. “Raspberries.”  
“We're here for the angel.”  
“The hell are you guys? The hell are these guys?”  
“Oh, just a couple of Norse demigods.”  
“Demigods?! Ah!” both Sam and Dean flew straight into battle mode. Neither truly wanting the archangel to get caught by these guys. Gabriel wasn’t sure what to do as he hid behind the doorway to the bathroom.  
“Gabriel, little help in here!” this skinny guy was whipping Dean's ass, literally as Sam was getting his ass kicked. The big guy had Sam in a head lock as Dean finally managed to through the little one off. “Sammy!”  
Gabriel came through last minute thrusting the sword made for Skol through his chest cavity saving Sam from death by suffocation. “Hiya, handsome. You ready to die?”  
“Ooh.” They watched the little one run for the door an disappear, Gabriel didn’t look so hot, hunched over to the side and favouring his uninjured side heavily. Sam looked at Gabriel fear in his eyes, hoping Gabriel hadn’t done anymore damage to himself fighting with the Norse demi gods.   
“You okay?”  
“Uh, yeah. I'll go after him in a sec. I just need a minute.” Sam stood to the side as Dean dangled handcuffs from his finger. He didn’t like Dean's plan, but he wasn’t going to stop him either. He wanted answers just as badly.  
“Wrong. You're not goin' anywhere.”  
“You know, you guys are lucky I'm low on juice, considering what I did to the last guy who locked me up.” Gabriel shifted the arm that had been handcuffed to the decorative railings next to the sofa. He had risked everything saving Sam like that. And he had risked more by allowing the elder Winchester to hand cuff him. He didn’t want Sam to get hurt any more than he had already inflicted on him. “You know what? We said we'd let you go, just as soon as you tell us what the hell is going on here.” Dean was demanding, he knew Sam never would be, but he also knew his brother wanted answers just as badly.   
“Yeah, it, uh it's not a fun story.”  
“Well, we just broke into a junkyard and stuffed the body of a demigod into a car crusher, so I think you owe us some answers.”  
“Okay, they're not really demigods. Mm. Look, the Norse pantheon is its own weird thing. Think of 'em more like, uh, god-begotten monsters. Whatever.”  
“What did they want with you?”  
“I killed their brother. Remember when I told you what happened after I faked my death at the Elysian Motel?”  
“Yeah, of course. You went to, uh, Monte Carlo with a bunch of porn stars.” Sam’s voice almost quivered saying that out loud. He felt another lance of heartbreak shoot through his chest as he looked at cavalier Gabriel was with that part of his story.  
“Yeah well, I left a few parts out. After Lucifer, quotation marks, killed me, I needed to lay low.  
Luckily, I used to hang with a resourceful crew. Found me a real top-shelf hideaway. I didn’t want to endanger anybody back here, so I went to them hoping the would do me a solid.”  
Gabriel dove into his story, painting the picture of cards games and Pornstars before Sam couldn’t hear anymore, “Okay! Why don't we just skip to the end?”  
“So, this is how it ended.” Gabriel told them how he'd been asleep, drunk off his ass and sleeping next to some of the stars, before he was rudely awakened to a hood over the head and a crack to the noggin. “By the time I came to, they had sold me to Asmodeus.”  
“Why would they do that?”  
“Hello? Lucifer? In case you don't remember, there was an apocalypse brewing at the time.”  
“We remember.”  
“Well, Vegas odds had my bro pulling off a big win.”  
“Yeah? And whose fault was that? Mm.” Dean was clearly getting testy now. He didn’t like the story, he didn’t like how he knew Sam would take it and he certainly didn’t like how blasé Gabriel was being with his little brother’s feelings.   
“Fenrir, Sleipnir, and Narfi were just trying to cover their keisters. They needed to get rid of me before Lucifer figured out where they had me hidden. But selling me to that Kentucky Fried B-hole? For them? That was all profit.” Gabriel had a sort of far off look in his eyes as he replayed it again in his head.  
“So, you want revenge.”  
“Well, obviously. Roasting Asmodeus was, uh, satisfying for a hot minute. But you know one thing better than killing him? Slaughtering them all.”  
“But since you're low on grace, you had to do it the old-fashioned way -- with wood.” Sam stated, he stared at the case closed by Gabriel's feet, he had briefly seen inside and the four wooden katanas that lay safely in the velvet interior.  
“Don't let anybody ever tell you you're just a pretty face.” Sam snorted, Gabriel was jesting he knew, but the lance spread across his chest again. After this was all over Sam was done. He could do this anymore. Once Gabriel had done this, maybe agreed to help and if they made it out the other side he would do anything to get Gabriel to leave. He hoped it would be enough. He didn’t envy Dean the man he would be when that day came.   
“All right, anyway, if there are only, uh, three gods or monsters or whatever, how come there are four swords?” Sam said, Gabriel had a quick shock look pass over his features as he opened the case to display the swords. Two still coated in blood.  
“Oh. That top one? That is for the man with the plan, the architect of my torture, and my own personal public enemy numero uno.”  
“I thought Loki was you.” Sam was quick, he knew what Gabriel had meant by numero uno.   
“It's trippy, I know. Look, remember when I told you I went into witness protection? Well, who do you think put me there? Loki? We were friends.” Gabriel stared at the case briefly before slowly closing the lid, “A few thousand epochs ago, I was out for a hike in the fjords. Came across Loki bound in a cave, snake dripping venom into his eye. Ugh. Apparently, he had some spat with his pops. Anyhoo, I freed him. Saved his life. Then my real brothers started going at it. I wanted out.  
Loki owed me one, so he helped me ditch Gabriel and become him. So, then you took on his whole trickster vibe.”  
“What did Loki do while you were impersonating him?”   
“Oh. Well, he had his own family drama to worry about. It was in his best interest to go off the grid for a while.”  
“But you saw him in Monte Carlo.”  
“Well, I needed someplace to hide. He'd already helped me the once.” Dean sighed, and Sam shifted to look away from Gabriel. His thought were starting to get the better of him.   
“You know, none of this would've happened if you'd had just stuck around and helped us fight Lucifer.” Dean sighed heavily, it would have been much easier if Gabriel had just stuck around. But then the hail Mary that Sam had pulled off may never have been possible. Having been bonded to Gabriel meant that until the bond had broken Sam was off the menu as Lucifer’s vessel.  
“Hey, I did help you. Casa Erotica?”  
“You call that help?” Dean was incredulous, he took a split second to glance at his brother who was now shuffling towards the mini bar looking for something stronger than a beer. He would have to sober Sammy up at some point, but he could begrudge the kid the alcohol at the moment and just the thought of making Gabriel aware of how messed up Sammy was over him made his stomach turn.  
“I call that art. But yes, without me, you two chuckleheads never would've known how to throw Lucifer back in the Cage.” Sam actually snorted before downing two mini bottles of vodka. The more Gabriel talked the more he realised that Gabriel had meant to break the bond. He'd never truly meant to stay with Sam. He felt like he should shout and scream at Gabriel but knew that it wouldn’t do any good. That was a previous life. A life in which he had thought he could be happy. But then Winchesters, specifically him, could never be happy.  
“But instead of giving us a hand, you ran. And you just did it again when you ditched us in the bunker.” Dean could see Sam's thoughts moving swiftly across his features, Gabriel wasn’t even looking as Sam downed another mini bottle of alcohol.   
“All right, Dean -- I have more important things to do than to join your little band of merry men.” Sam downed another mini bottle at that. Dean would have to stop Sammy from drinking soon, another few bottles and his little brother’s judgment would become impaired and he would never forgive Dean if he started talking without thinking.   
Gabriel obviously saw something in the way Dean was looking at him and as his dived to a verbal torrent of emotional word spewage he flapped a small piece of paper with a list of napes on it. He was going to get his revenge; no short stack Winchester or mate was going to stop him. Gabriel had a quick halt in his thoughts when he realised he said mate. He knew Sam would never take him back now. He had done too much damage and in the coming weeks if he ever saw them again after this, he knew he would do more. This was going to end only one way for him and he didn’t want to put Sam through that again. Never again.  
“Probably not even gonna make you feel better.”  
“Well, agree to disagree, Dean-o.”  
“We all have our demons.”  
“Mine are here, in this town.”  
“Okay.”  
“But you're low on grace.”  
“And Loki knows you're coming.”  
“Sam.” Gabriel looked closer at Sam then he had done since seeing him again. He really had done a number on the kid, he wouldn’t even look him in the eye. He almost broke his resolve then, wanting to desperately take the taller man into his arms.   
“It's a waste of time. This revenge kick. You've seen it with Sam, Revenge only ends one way -- ugly.” Dean was staring right at Gabriel then. Willing him to hear what he was trying to say. He didn’t want Gabriel going down this path too. “You’re determined to enact this kill bill fantasy of yours, aren’t you?”  
The took the impala leaving to the run-down hole they knew now that Loki was hiding in. as they entered the building Dean turned to Gabriel, “All right, Uma, what's the plan?”  
“Well, Sleipnir's a lot of things, but mainly, he is a coward. I will bet all the personal lubricant in the S.F.V that after we killed Narfi, he ran straight back to papa's skirts. So, he and Loki will be together.” Gabriel eased out the last two katanas, handing one to which ever Winchester was ready, he was really interested, and kept the one for Loki in hand. “We go in, we kill Sleipnir, and then, we surprise Big Daddy in the penthouse. Easy peasy like a breeze-y.  
“One last thing, just so we're clear. Take out the bodyguards, take out the bystanders, whatever.  
But when it comes to Sleipnir and Loki, I'm the one who delivers the coup de grace. I want my beautiful face to be the last thing that they see.”  
They rooted out Narfi killing him before he could truly fight back, Sam stayed back, letting Dean and Gabriel deal with him, he knew he was a little of kilter, read pissed, and it was only as Gabriel righted himself did he realise Dean had gone on in front of them. They eased into the penthouse just as Loki was rampaging at Dean.   
“And did Gabriel tell you why he wants me dead?”  
“I don't care.”  
“Yes, you do. If only to tell your little brother, why he’s still in love with a dick with wings like Gabriel.” Loki sneered, he didn’t like being pinned down by this mortal but hurting Gabriel meant more in that moment that snuffing out the insignificant insect with his hands on his nice vest, “Our treatment of your friend is payback for a slight of a more personal nature. The death of my father, Odin.”  
“Oh, that wasn't him. Lucifer did that.” Dean growled, as much as he didn’t particularly like Gabriel at the moment he would defend the angel’s actions in Elysian.  
“Ah. But why was my father there in the first place? To parlay, to deal with Gabriel's brothers.  
When we first made terms, I had only one condition -- I would give him my face, teach him to be me, the trickster, if he agreed to abandon the more volatile affairs of his family. Forever. When he hit that hotel, he broke that promise, and it cost my father his life.”   
“The world was coming to an end. And it he wasn’t the reason your father is dead, Lucifer would have killed him anyway, Gabriel was there to protect my brother, for whatever good it did both of them.”  
“That never mattered to him before. Gabriel had to be punished. Odin was a salty, disagreeable bastard. Truth is he despised me.” Loki sighed, he didn’t care about Gabriel’s reasoning for being there, and truthfully, he didn’t much care that Gabriel wasn’t the true cause of his father’s death, but someone needed to be punished for that and he wasn’t likely to get his hands on the king of hell now was he? “But he was my father. I'm sure you understand. What would you do for your father?” the door swung open. His own face glaring back at him, “Hello, Gabriel.”  
With much shuffling and grunting eventually Gabriel stuck Loki with the sword meant for him. He had heard his every word, spoken and unspoken. It didn’t change much, he still need to protect Sam from who he was, and who he had become, “Listen I know you two weren't the, uh, eagerest of beavers when it came to helping me out back there, so, uh I-I just wanna say thanks. So, this other world Michael how we doing this?”  
“Wait, you're actually gonna helping us?”  
“You helped me sammo, now I help you. It’s the least I can do.”  
“No tricks?”  
“And if I'm being perfectly honest, tricks are for kids.” They had made their way downstairs and out of the dilapidated building. Sam stood facing Gabriel who looked sheepish. He flashed Sam a bright smile, one that almost had Sam kissing the archangel before his senses returned.   
Hey How you feeling? Now that you…”  
“Got my sweet, sweet vengeance on? Yeah, sure. I guess.”   
“Swell, Sam. I'm a whole new guy.” Sam turned away. What he didn’t see what Gabriel's face dropping along with his golden eyes. Dean saw it though and vowed to himself that once they returned to the bunker he was going to have a serious talk with the angel.

___PAGE BREAK___

 

“Hey, back at the hotel why did you go after Loki without us?” Sam was curious, he knew Dean had a reason, he just needed to know why.   
“Saw an opening, so I took it.” Dean was lying through his teeth, he had wanted to punish the man that had inadvertently hurt his brother.   
“This has become a whole thing with you lately. You need to stop protecting me now Dean, what will happen will happen. And I suspect what will happen will be just what I deserve. Even if that means death protecting him, even if he doesn’t need me too.”  
“Since when?”  
“Since the last time we opened up a rift. Since you decided to side-line me and then head to Apocalypse World with Ketch.”  
“Okay, well we talked about that.”  
“Did we? Because I gotta be honest, after everything, you're treating me like I-I deserve to be back at the kid's table or something. I know you mean well Dean, and yes, I admit I wanted to stay and help Gabriel, I did. But I know he is never going to want me again. Ever. And I need to do something else besides focus on the rip that’s shredding my heart in two.”  
“Sam, I'm not gonna apologize for protecting you.”  
“Dean, we're going to that place, and we're gonna save Jack and Mom. Together. And if something happens, we will deal with it together. And if we die? We'll do that together, too.” Sam sounded sure and almost confident in being with Dean to the last. And Dean would take at least some of Gabriel's abandoned care of his little brother. He would care for him ‘til his last and yes, going down together if it ever came to that.


	2. Hey-lel returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this isn't as long as the last chapter and this is where we are diverting from canon a lot more. like barely canon at all. hopefully it live up to expectations. i'm not adverse to constructive criticism, hints and tips to make the story flow better.

Sam and Dean spent the next few weeks preparing anything and everything they could. They dug through all the volumes kept in storage rooms through out the bunker for any information they could find on either Michael or the other world. It was the second week when Rowena was recruited to help, and it was then Sam spent more time away from everyone. Especially Gabriel and Rowena.   
He could see what was happening and couldn’t face the heartache that it was causing. He only really ate when Dean or Cas brought him food, he stayed moving from room to room investigating each book, spending hours translating titles and introductions to discover if this book would hold anything of use. He was scouring through a Latin book written by an early-men-of-letters when Dean eased into the room. His brother was taking great care in looking after hm. As he sunk further into this pit he regretted more and more of his words to his brother about leaving him to be a grown man, but he knew that if Dean had, he would have starved to death before ever returning to the library to see Gabriel and Rowena making eyes at each other.  
Sam carefully place the tome on his make shift table, made from a cardboard box he had found in the corner, he turned to his brother with quizzical eyes, “what up Dean?”  
“Would you join us in the kitchen for dinner tonight? Please? I know how hard this situation is on you, but you are letting him win. He know he is winning.” Sam hung his head. This was just the story of his life. Le loved and he lost. He carried everyone of them on his shoulders and heavily in his heart. Even ruby which had proved to be a mistake on his part. Sam nodded and grabbed a few of the tomes he had yet to go through before following Dean upstairs to the kitchen where he vaguely watched his brother get the ingredients together to make burgers. “What have you found?”  
“Not much, we may have to ask Gabriel for what he remembers but the chances are this Michael is massively different to the one that took Adam. About the other worlds however they have plenty on that. Apparently, it’s on the same sort of line as ours. Except we were never born, or the apocalypse never would have happened, and Michael would be wearing you.” Sam rubbed a hand over his face as he thought, “I think that mum chose no to make that deal when Azazel killed her family and dad.”  
Dean nodded as he added the beef patties to the hot griddle pan, he turned to his brother and smiled, despite the lack of sleep, sunlight, exercise and food Sam didn’t look too bad, he looked like he was keeping it together better than he actually was. “maybe we should let the others know, they’re going over the library seeing if we haven’t missed anything, shall we go now?”  
Dean placed the burgers on a plate with rolls on another, he motioned to Sam to grab the condiments and side as he led their way back up through the bunker to the library. Half way their they came across Cas who looked at the burgers hungrily. It was years since pestilence, but the angel was still taken with burgers. “What are you doing down he Cas?”  
“I went to grab a book from one of the storage rooms for Gabriel.” Dean nodded and handed him the plate of rolls before continuing on his way towards the library. As they entered it seemed completely empty until a noise came from behind of the bookcases. Followed by a sound of surprise. Sam barely managed to get his armful on the table before he dropped them at the site that emerged. Rowena came out hand coming down from her hair, she had clearly been trying to fix it. Gabriel followed shortly a book held strategically in his hand. Sam's brain halted, and his arms dropped to his side.   
“What you doing?” Dean's voice tremored, he as well as anyone else in this room, knew what they had been doing but he blamed his shock at the blatancy of it for his stupid question.   
“Reading books…see” Gabriel waved the book against his hip before easing into a chair at the table. Rowena followed his lead. dean snuck a look at Sam who was staring at where they had emerged from with a closed off expression. Dean suddenly fear for his brother, if there was thing he knew about his brother was how easily his emotions were read by the right people. To be unable to see what Sam was thinking or feeling in that moment worried him. He watched his brother make up a burger before turning back down the corridor he’d been practically dragged up.  
Dean fought not to round on Gabriel and Rowena, but the glare he sent Gabriel had the smaller man hanging his head slightly. He had sealed his fate now. Sam would never take him back, he was sure of it. Though it made it no easier on either of them now, it would make it easier on Sam in the future. He knew how this was going to end. It would always end this way, one of them dead protecting the other and Gabriel would die first before he let Sam die protecting him.   
He snatched a burger and a bun and set about nibbling at the food waiting for Dean to ease his uncomfortable stare elsewhere. He could barely feel Sam in depths of the bunker and what he could feel broke his grace a little. His soul was burning out, leaving behind a soul that no longer shone and only existed to keep its shell alive. Gabriel wished that there was another way. His inner monologue and searching broke when Dean's voice hit his ears, “have you even explained to him why you broke the bond? Or are you just going to let his light go out?”  
“His light already went out Dean.” It was Cas that talked, with this Gabriel was treated to the full fury of Dean's glare. Now, he could understand why people feared these brothers, “he still has his soul; however, I believe it may be a repeat in personality…”  
“Wait what?” Gabriel spoke before he had given his mouth permission, what did Castiel mean, he still has his soul but repeat in personality? Gabriel landed confused eyes on his seraph brother before chancing a glance at Dean. The glare was even more fearsome now. What ever he had said, or however he had said it, it was not what Dean wanted to hear.  
“Now you are concerned?”  
‘Ah’ that’s why the deepening in the glare, ‘well too late to get your foot our now Gabriel.’  
“Just answer the question Dean-o”  
“No, I don’t think I will. You almost killed my brother once Gabriel, I won’t let you do it again.” Now that wasn’t foreboding at all. He knew the breaking in the bond would be difficult, but their bond hadn’t been strong enough to truly effect Sam in that way… had it? He watched as Dean grabbed some more food and turned down the corridor towards where Sam had disappeared. Gabriel turned to look at his little brother hoping for an answer.  
“Sam was pulled from hell, I pulled him myself. Except I couldn’t pull him out in one piece, apparently. His soul got left behind, it took an entire year before I realised. In which time he was indiscriminate with his bed partners, turned Dean into a vampire and killed without question.” The answer shot through his hard. But how could he be jealous and hurt over that answer when he had done much worse to Sam. “we had to get death to return his soul, by which point it had spent 100 years at the mercy of either Michael or Lucifer or both. It was mangled but still so bright. He erected barriers in which to keep the memories away. They broke down and Sam ended up going almost insane with the visions.”  
With that Castiel stood and left the library. He was too shocked to speak. He watched as the witch stood quietly having heard all this information and making her own conclusions left. Gabriel couldn’t help the thoughts that flitted through his mind, one half wanted to so desperately apologise to Sam profusely for everything that ever happened to him, to right it all, to be with him. The other half demanded that he was doing the right thing.   
Gabriel sighed, this was a disaster of his own making. However, he knew this was only going to end in a bigger disaster than what was already happening around him. He’d give them a day to cool down and then he would start the ball rolling for getting the boys over to the other world so that they could get their family back. He wasn’t strong enough to do it yet, but his brother was. So, for now, he laid down the ground work, he scoured the earth for Lucifer, after finding him he kept a track of his movements.   
When Dean and Sam graced him with their presence the next morning he got the ball rolling, “you boys want to get to the other place, right? Well, I'm not going to be able to help you there, but I know who can and between myself and the witch we can coerce him into helping.”  
“No need for coercion Gabriel, I’ve already rung him, he’ll be here in an hour.” Sam’s voice was scratchy and determined, telling Gabriel two things, Sam had cried most of the night, and, he was determined to hear nothing about how and why he had Lucifer in his contacts. That didn’t stop his sending a questioning glance Sam’s way. “Don’t give me that look Gabriel, you lost your right to question me.”  
With that stab to Gabriel's heart Sam took his coffee and left. He supposed he deserved that after yesterday. He looked down into his own mug hoping to divine an easier, less heart-breaking way, to go about protecting Sam. If there was one, he didn’t see it. He felt Castiel place a hand on his shoulder before he felt the easing pressure or his brother leading him away, “you need to talk to him about what you are doing, brother.”  
“That would defeat the point Cassie.” He sighed heavily, dumping his cup lightly on a nearby surface, he wasn’t even sure where in the bunker they were. It was dusty and laden with books as were most of the rooms. Smaller than most it had an almost cosy library feel with its inviting armchair in the corner and old book smell. Instantly he knew this was one of Sam’s rooms.   
“Yes, I'm sure it would. Except, you can protect him better at his side.”  
“From outward forces maybe, but from me? Not a chance.” He felt guilt running rampant and hot through his veins. Either through his own actions or through someone else’s he would inevitably hurt Sam again, and next time Sam might not pull through, “he would never survive me actually dying, not again. Last time, whilst it was my fault the bond broke, a true breaking, where I actually died, would kill him. And, that’s if he ever deigned to mate with me again, or if it would even take again. It was a miracle father let us bond in the first place. To know that I ruined it the first time…. I would never get a second chance, even if he wanted to.”  
“Brother, you lie to yourself almost as mush as you are lying to Sam. He loves you, even now when you break his fragile heart into a million tiny pieces. You only need to read him to know that.” Castiel checked his deep sigh, it would not aid him in this battle of words with is older brother. He was also unnerved with how easily Gabriel had rolled over when Sam had said he rang Lucifer, “you must have questions about Sam's phone call with Lucifer.”  
“I do. I don think knowing is going to ease my pain any.”  
“Lucifer never tortured Sam in hell, I saw it myself and whilst it took Dean a while to see the truth, Lucifer protected Sam from someone much worse.”  
“Michael.” Castiel nodded, the word was spoken with such venom he was sure Gabriel didn’t need anymore confirmation then the single nod. The rest of the story was not his to tell, it took so long for Sam to tell it that he knew even without Dean enforcing the rule that it was to stay within them unless Sam said otherwise, “what did he do?”  
“You will have to ask Sam, Gabriel. I gave my word as a friend and an angel to say nothing further on the matter.” With that little push Castiel turned on his heel and left Gabriel to ponder over the little information he had been given. Then it struck him, he didn’t need to ask Sam when his impulsive brother would be arriving any minute now. It wasn’t until he started heading up towards the library that he realised just how long he and Castiel had been talking.  
There stood Lucifer, in front of Sam inspecting him as if he was barely human, to be fair at this point Sam, even with his bright soul, was barely human with demon blood and angel grace running through his system. When Lucifer was done with his perusal he pulled the taller man into and all-encompassing hug. Gabriel eased into the room quietly, apparently not quiet enough as he was landed with a burning stare. If he were human, it would be frightening. As it was, a bolt of fear did run through him, this was not the half mad archangel from 8 years ago. This was Hey-lel, the Archangel of the morning, and bringer of the dawn. And, he was pissed at him, shit.  
Sam pulled back and started to fill Lucifer in, he stopped when he saw the look in Lucifer’s eyes and sighed, “later Hey-lel, later.  
With that he dived back into everything that happened since Lucifer had disappeared, everything from some of the shit they’d had to handle when Lucifer had to leave jack with them to Gabriel returning. Sam had mercifully left all the drama out of his story, barely telling any of what Gabriel himself had gone through, only touching on enough specifics that Lucifer would understand.  
With him all caught up he watched his brother become the general he was before his fall, “ok, we’ll need every weapon you can get your hands on, mostly hand to hand weapons, although a few guns wouldn’t go amiss. Castiel, start gathering the stuff we need for the extraction. Sam, get a food bag together, don’t forget to add extra spell ingredients in a side portal, we’re all going, or this isn’t happening. Well chop-chop!”  
Gabriel watched the other occupants scramble, all though Sam did his with a hesitant look between he and Lucifer, as Sam finally disappeared down the corridor Lucifer moved to speak, “don’t Hey-lel, just don’t.”  
“You can not expect me to sit by and watch you tear Sam apart!”  
“AND WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE ITS DOING TO ME?! You almost killed me, and in order to keep Sam safe from you and everybody else I let him think I was dead, I cut that cord! I broke the bond in such a way that it almost killed him!” Self-righteous anger filled Gabriel until his eyes sparked angrily with barely supressed grace, “I endured years under that thing you called a son, he bled my grace and I was suddenly glad I had done what I’d done. I had held onto a small part of it hoping to one day apologise for what I had done but the longer he fed from me the harder it was to hold on to. Eventually that died to! You have no right, no right to stand there and lecture me!”  
Lucifer looked shocked, “you should have just gone back to him as soon as he was a safe distance from me! I know what I was like Gabriel, I knew how twisted I was, but I never wanted to kill you! I knew that wasn’t you, idiot.”  
Gabriel stood shocked, if that were true….  
“I broke my bond with Michael when he turned on Sam in hell. It took longer then it should of to realised, by then I had my work cut out trying to keep his soul together. Castiel could only do so much and took his body back. When death finally came, I gave him the soul. By then what ever spell our aunts mark held over me was broken.” Gabriel nodded, so that’s why Lucifer was so protective of Sam, well good someone needed to be outwardly protective of, more so because Gabriel could not.  
Then it hit Gabriel, Lucifer had broken his bond with Michael, “you broke your bond?”  
“He’s changed since I fell, he was not the same man I fell in love with.”   
Gabriel nodded, he knew how difficult it was to do, break a bond with someone you loved, even harder maybe for Lucifer finding a different man in place of the one he had fallen in love with, “Gabriel, how much grace do you have?”  
Gabriel shuffled, he was running on empty, he had been for weeks, it didn’t seem to be getting much better either, “I, err, I.”  
“You’re empty?” Gabriel nodded, he couldn’t get the words passed his throat, it was one thing knowing it, an entirely different thing saying it out loud, he had managed to keep the boys off his back for now and was secretly glad they had found a different source of grace for the spell. He didn’t know if he could face the humiliation of extracting what little grace he had left. “we should fix that Gabriel, why haven’t you gone outside to draw from nature.”  
Gabriel's head cocked before it struck him, something Lucifer had taught him millennia ago. He had completely forgotten they could do that. With a quick ‘thanks’ Gabriel ran out the room towards the exit. Lucifer gave the briefest of chuckles before moving further into the bunker to help the others gather what was ready. His brother would be fine, they would solve this issue between him and Sam when they returned.


	3. Chapter 3

They landed heavily in apocalypse world, right on the edge of a small dip catching each of them unawares. Dean landed in a pile of sticks and leaves grunting heavily. Sam and Lucifer tumbled down into a heap of limbs and Gabriel and Cas flipped over each other messily landing heavily on the forest floor, Gabriel's face in Castiel’s crotch. With a few grunts and swear words they managed to right themselves. After having brushed them selves down of foliage and taken stock of themselves and what they brought they huddled around trying to decide which direction to go, “Lucifer, Cas, Gabriel, do any of you feel Jack, finding him will be the best bet of finding both.”  
Dean's suggestion made sense and they watched as Lucifer and Cas closed their eyes for a second before Lucifer grunted, “got him. He’s that way.”  
Moving off softly they broke up a little Cas and Gabriel in front, Dean and Sam in the middle and Lucifer bringing up the rear. Whilst they were alert there were flitters of conversation going on among them, Gabriel being the loudest among them, catching snippets of conversation between him and Castiel was easy, even from where Lucifer was walking. Sam’s pace slowed the more he could hear, ‘bucket list’ and ‘she’s very flexible’ were among the words filtering through the still burnt air. He caught a sad glimpse from Cas but shrugged it off.   
It was as he turned his head away from the conversation that he heard something coming from his right he stopped and grabbed his gun alerting his brother and Lucifer to the fact he’d heard something. They didn’t have enough time to alert the other two angels before several snarling, viciously hungry looking vampires jumped from behind the trees. One took down Sam, who ended up scrabbling to get his blade in the right position, Lucifer and Dean both struggled with their own vicious looking fangs.  
Just as Sam was starting to panic there was a wave of bright light and the vampire slumped against him, fangs resting dangerously close to his neck, but dead none the less. He heard Dean shout, “what the fuck was that?! When the hell did you get your grace back?”  
Gabriel just shrugged, that didn’t help Dean's temper any, nor did it help Sam’s battered heart. Ignoring the ache in his chest at how Gabriel looked hot when I went all angel and how contrite he looked now Sam moved to continue on their way. He was getting himself back together, gathering his things and his pack, when he was knocked sideways by, what appeared to be, a teenager with a long hunting knife, “this won’t kill you, Angel, but I'm sure it’ll hurt.”  
“I am not an Angel.” He said it with a derisive sniff glaring at the young man wielding knife at him, he cautiously took a glance around and found Dean and the angels each had their own issues, “some of us are, but were not from your world, we cam looking for family. Jack the Nephilim and Mary Winchester, our mother.”  
He watched the young mans hand twitch, “fine, stab me with that if you can, but I warn you the angels that are among us won take to that very well. Especially that one.”  
Sam pointed over his shoulder in Lucifer’s general direction, “you see, his name is Lucifer, and I'm his vessel. His true vessel, and his best friend so go ahead.”  
Sam knew he was playing a dangerous game, but dropping Lucifer’s name had the desired effect, it startled not just his young attacker but all of them turned to look at him. Suddenly feeling very subconscious he stood a little straighter daring them to try anything, “Sam what the hell are you doing?”  
The two voices came in unison and yet he knew bother well, Dean and Gabriel were clearly just as shocked as their would-be attackers. He smirked a little, deciding on playing a little tricky and devilish at the same time. Stepping forward to the young man who had ambushed him, “see those other two angels, that’s Gabriel, messenger of god and Castiel, angel of Thursdays, and whilst neither of them are partial to me they won’t hesitate to stop you should harm my brother, on the other hand I could just get Lucifer to turn you into rats and let you scurry off.”  
He heard Lucifer chuckle and a small gasp coming from either Cas or Gabriel, but he didn’t care. He was too busy staring down the young man in front of him, “fine, back of guys. But if you even twitch a finger at us I will kill you.”  
This made Sam laugh, “boy, you have no idea what you are messing with.”  
Dean sidled up to his brother, “don’t you mean who, Sam?”  
Sam shrugged, he had been correct his brother didn’t need to know… not unless it became necessary. He shifted back to the direction they had been heading and lead the way forward. Lucifer caught up with him, leaving the others to sort their formation amongst themselves. “You could have dealt with them yourself Sam, why didn’t you?”  
“Because, Dean will actually kill me if he ever finds out.” After that silence fell amongst the group as they trundled along the path towards where Lucifer said he could feel Jack’s grace. It led them right to the entrance of a tunnel, “its an old mine or train tunnel I think.”  
“It’s filled with vampires, it’s where we came from when we ambushed you, those vampires you killed were after us.” It was a young woman who had spoken, Sam recognised her as the one to hold Dean at knife point. “its also the shortest way to camp, it’ll be another 3 day walk if we take the long way around.”  
Sam glanced at Dean then Lucifer, silently asking for their opinion. Dean grabbed his machete from his pack and Lucifer his angel blade, silently answering him back. They were ready for what came at them. It wasn’t like rabid vampires was a new thing for any of them. Creeping in through the dark entrance and down the dank tunnel, it wasn’t long before every single one of them started to feel antsy. They knew they were being followed and tried to make it as far through silently before they’d have to break out into a run.   
The further they went in in the darker and smaller the tunnel became. It was becoming more difficult to check for any dangers now off shooting channels and they picked up speed hoping to by pass this dangerous part of the tunnel. As they hurried Sam heard a thump and a growl, before he was swept up by a number of vampires aiming directly for him. From then on, he was lost in the swing of his machete and the duck and sway that came with being in a fight with multiple opponents. He didn’t stop until he had nothing left to fight, it was only then he turned to check on everyone else.   
Dean was finishing off his last vampire, head rolling away into the dark, Lucifer and Gabriel stood back to back both were heaving and splattered with vampire blood but no longer facing anything, merely using that minute to catch their breaths and Cas was stalking towards Dean ready to make sure he was okay. Nobody even heard it until Sam gave a loud grunt in the silence after the fight, he felt the lean, strong arms encircle his torso and around his face dragging his head sideways. He didn’t even have to time shout before the fangs dug, cruelly and deeply into the soft flesh of his neck, making his next breath a gurgle as he watched the shocked faces of his family fade into the darkness of the tunnel as he was dragged away.   
Dean moved to run after his little brother, Cas grabbed him drawing his face into his neck, there he instantly felt Dean's silent tears, he looked at bother his older brothers, he growled at Gabriel was he had turned away instead of watching Sam. Lucifer however was slowly dropping everything he didn’t need, “you two, take my supplies and pack my friends will need them the other side. Gabriel, you ass, get them out of here. Cas looked after Dean and don’t let these young cretins out of your sight.”  
Everyone nodded shifting slowly, the two young companions that they had gained along the grabbed what they had been told and watched as Lucifer stalked down the tunnel Sam had been dragged down. Between them and the shorter man, Gabriel they assumed, they managed to herd everyone out of the tunnels and into daylight, as bleak as it was outside it was darn sight better than what they had come from.   
Cas took hold their and led the way, now that they were closer he had a stronger hold on the direction of jack’s grace and led the way, practically pulling his mate along with him. He knew Dean was heart broken over Sam, it was going to be a long struggle, but he felt confident that whatever Lucifer had in mind was going to help he just had to keep Dean on task. Gabriel walked beside them sullenly and in unusual quietness, his usual mortal quirks were absent, and he seemed more angel now then he had done since he had seen his brother in that tv nightmare.  
They knew they were finally close to the camp when they crashed quite noisily into the angel warded barrier. Cas watched his brother merely scoff and force his magic through the closest sigil, then the next and the next until he had created a small opening for them to pass through before removing the magic he had used closing the gap behind him. Lucifer would likely call either Cas or Gabriel to let him in when he caught up. “How did you do that?”  
“Oh that? That’s a neat little trick I picked up as a pagan, no one ever knew I was an angel so sometimes I had to find ways around angel warding. It’s come in handy.” Gabriel sounded tired and depressed, nobody could blame him, it had been a long and trying day getting here. They found their way to the camp tripping over tired feet, even Cas who was beyond exhausted. Even with all his grace today had been emotionally and physically draining.   
After confirming who they were and getting hugged by Mary, the inevitable question came, “where’s Sam?”  
Nobody answered, it was fresh and painful, and Dean fought back the tears to stay strong for his mother, but his bright red eyes told her all she needed to know. Cas didn’t want to give her hope so kept Lucifer’s side mission to himself. They were settled in and within the hour were all asleep. 

 

Sam woke heaving, his hand flew to his neck expecting a gaping hole only to find, clear skin. He glanced frantically around only to find Lucifer propped against the wall beside him. As the angel noticed his frantic movements he moved forwards and gripped Sam's shoulder loosely allowing the cooling feel of his grace to ease into Sam relaxing him.   
Lucifer eased Sam to his feet silently indicating the barrier that held back a hoard of vampires. Sam understood quickly indicating the shadowy exit in the opposite corner the made a break for the tunnel entrance. When they finally broke out into the light of day both were panting, Sam was sweaty and exhausted, he hadn’t asked anything of Lucifer yet, he doubted he even wanted to know. Instead they trudged along towards Lucifer said he could feel Gabriel, Cas and Jack. It took them what felt like ages and the light gradually waned until just as night fell they came across the barrier for the camp. Lucifer didn’t need to touch to know there was angel warding and he had no idea how to get passed it. He looked at Sam who looked intensely at the sigils before moving forwards and placing a hand on the first one. It burnt through quickly allowing Lucifer to step passed the barrier. Sam quickly sliced finger retracing the sigil and allowing the barrier to reform before passing through. Happy to find he was still considered human enough by the barrier to do so.  
Lucifer looked equally shocked as Sam passed through to stand by him, “how did you do that?”  
“The barrier or the walking through it?”  
“Um, Both?”  
“The sigil I just pushed imagined it burning, as for walking through I don’t know, maybe I'm more human than I considered after everything that I’ve trained with in my powers I thought it would have had a greater effect.” They practically skipped into camp happy to finally be reunited with their family. Dean and Mary were first to engulf Sam in a bear hug, so happy to see he was alive. Cas and Gabriel stepped up to their brother, and although it was unseen pressed their wings to him in greeting and gratitude.   
Once settled down with some bath tub swill of alcohol they comfortably told the story of what had happened, Lucifer alluding to Sam being actually dead and having to revive him, but never out right saying it know his new family in the Winchesters didn’t need to know that what so long as the who was fine in the end. They had learnt a long time ago that the outcome far outweighed the means in which they came by that outcome.   
It was early morning before they retired, although Sam stayed close to Lucifer and further away from Gabriel, being so close to his ex-mate was driving him batty, his only solace was the cool arm around his shoulders as he drifted off against Lucifer’s side. Lucifer had always been right, even when the mark had twisted his thoughts, an angel’s vessel was their best friend, their confident and most importantly their rock to lean on in times of difficulty.

The next morning, the apocalypse Bobby had them gather around talking about moving the refugees back to Sam and Dean's world, “Where would be the best place to do this little spell of yours?”  
“I would suggest somewhere far from here, it’ll have to be quick otherwise Michael will feel the use of grace in the spell.” Castiel said pouring over the map at hand, finding a small clearing 5 mils south looked promising, steep hills on one side and nothing for miles on the other. But by the looks of it, the clearing would give them a decent view of the skies in which to watch for Michael. He pointed at it looking at Gabriel, “you are our best strategist Gabriel, what do you think?”  
He heard Gabriel mutter through everything he had thought of and more to do with the clearing, if wasn’t far from the wards, plenty of room to scatter if they needed to… “Yeah, I like it, but Cassie’s right we are going to have to be quick about it, once either Lucifer or I draw our grace Michael will zero in like Dean on a burger.”  
“Me and Lucifer and Cas can take the boundaries fight of anything that comes at us, I know he doesn’t want to, but Lucifer can keep Michael off your backs until were all clear. We just need a distraction for when we need to break for the portal…. Can you close it on key?” Sam glanced quickly at Gabriel letting him know the question was aimed at him.  
“Yes, I can, if this is your plan then it will have my grace in it, once everyone’s through I can pull it back, effectively ending the power source of the spell.” Gabriel eyed Sam thoughtfully giving the hunter and his face a full looking over before continuing, “but you really shouldn’t be tangling with that many angels.”  
“Oh, don’t worry your pretty little head about me Gabriel, I can handle myself.” Gabriel flinched at Sam's condescending tone, he nodded slowly, figuring he kind of deserved that after everything he had put Sam through, didn’t mean he liked the idea, but the look Lucifer was giving him over Sam’s shoulder meant he was going to leave it alone.   
“Ok, so this distraction?” Dean tagged in, “I'm thinking only something big is going to force his distraction, especially with Lucifer and Gabriel here so what do you have in mind?”  
“Let me take care of that boys, there’s explosives all around this camp, enough to make it look like someone’s attacking here for a reason at least.” Bobby ringed the camp on the map as he talked, looked to Sam like he had purposely ringed over the top of some of the sigils marks. Sam nodded, gathered what tools he had placed on the map table and moved silently to get ready for leaving, he was so ready to be home, where he knew Gabriel was likely to leave him alone.

It took the day to get ready, so it was late afternoon, early evening before the set off. Hunters took up the back and front of the column with angels flitting quietly along the refugees helping where was needed. It didn’t take long to enter the clearing, not set up part of the spell. They gave to be prepared nodded, the was instantly spread, Sam Lucifer and Cas all got into position around the majority of the refugees and Gabriel made to extract his grace as soon as it was in, he chanted the words and started heaving people through as quickly as possible with Dean doing the Sam on the other side of the rift. They had the majority in before a glimpse of angel was spotted in the sky.   
Bobby and Charlie were last through just as Michael landed in the dirt, Dean moved to pull Sam and Cas towards the rift intent on getting them both safe, but it wasn’t he that reached Sam first Gabriel did, practically throwing Sam at the rift. “Go Sam, I can buy you some time., all I did on earth was run, I hurt you in order to protect you, let me do it one last time. Go!”  
Sam felt Dean's hand on his shoulder, it took him a split second to make decision, he wasn’t going to just let Gabriel die. He twitched his hand pulling Gabriel away from Michael and when he reached Sam's hands he pushed him at Dean, ensuring they were through the portal before he turned on Michael. Lucifer was holding him off well Sam ducked up Michael completely ignoring the human getting gin the way, “Lucifer blade!”  
Something dropped into his hand and before Michael could blink the blade sunk through Michael's chest, “goodbye Michael.”  
He sunk the blade deeper but as Lucifer observed there was a blue-black entwined tendril curved around the blade sinking into Michael's wound before he had to turn away, the one bright white feathers burnt in a mix of demon and grace fire as his vessel gave out. Sam huffed as he pulled the blade away, he turned to Lucifer and hauled him through the portal, “Michael's dealt with.”  
Everyone blinked as Sam took off down the corridor to his room, he didn’t want to talk to anybody. Not when he had so much consider, did Gabriel really still love him and how the hell did I do that among the various thoughts running rampant through his brain.


	4. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam learns what happened with him in the apocalypse world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm English hence the change in certain spellings(for any Americans or American learnt out there). And the Nephalem is something i did research on. I don't think I have explained it very well so if any questions let me know.

It was a good few days before the refugees settled down into the bunker. Same and Dean spent the time, for them, catching up with Bobby and Charlie. Their world was slightly different to Sam and Dean's, but it was just nice having them back with them. If only for a short while. Both boys knew that the two before them as they sat enjoying beer in the map room, would eventually move on, enjoy a world free of the oppression of angels, vampires and Chuck knows what else.

Sam had spent the time in between spending time with Charlie and Bobby avoiding Gabriel. He didn’t want the Archangel to tell him good bye, because he was sure that’s exactly what the littlest archangel wanted. Lucifer watched Sam dive into research for any upcoming cases like a fiend and was worried about his vessel. He only really ate when with Dean and friends or when Lucifer came through to feed him. He’d also noticed that Sam was trying to investigate what he had managed to do to Michael but neither he nor, what little he had managed to get from Gabriel, did his brother. 

Lucifer was getting to the point of either banging their heads together or locking them in a room somewhere. Neither would be a good idea. He’d noticed Sam’s powers getting stronger as he analysed them for investigation. His vessel was now able to control the shadows and the grace at will, he had also noticed something off with his vessels body. He couldn’t tell what yet and his brother was being incredibly cryptic about what was happened. He was sure that Gabriel knew for sure what was going on, but he hadn’t told anyone. For now, Lucifer just stayed to the side and kept an eye on his vessel. 

Sam had spent time integrating all the people from the other world into the bunker, asking them where they wanted to go from there, when he had the time building a small hunter network out of those that wanted to stay and forging identities for those that didn’t. in amongst that he had come to a startling realisation about himself. He knew Lucifer was keeping a good eye on him, but he didn’t want to worry his best friend, something he knew Dean was still slightly sore about, he was changing into something that was a mix of demon and angel, his research had produced the name Nephalem, which had confused him at first, mistaking it for Nephilim. Whist that term tended to label the child of angel and demon he doubted it wholly fit him, that and his grace came from an archangel. He was getting off track as he re-read the book on Nephalem.

He got up rubbing viciously at his eyes as he put the book back and checked his watch, he had to make it look like he was getting his 4 hours. He know longer needed to sleep but judging on how he knew anybody would react to what was happening to him he decided to keep it all secret. He might tell Lucifer eventually as he knew his friend would never judge him for what he was now. He just hoped that he never grew wings but judging by the slight achy itch he had in his shoulder blades the last few days he didn’t think that was going to skip him. He just didn’t want to face Dean with this, he knew his brother still struggled with the whole black and white conundrum visa vi monster killing. 

It wasn’t until a week or so after everything had settled that Sam got a surprise, “Sammy, can we talk?”

“Sure De.” Sam looked up from the manuscript that he had been pouring over for the last 4 hours, he cracked his neck and turned to look up at his brother as he took a chair next to him. 

“I… um how do I say this?” he watched his brother with a small amount of panic if Dean was struggling to say something to him, it meant that it was pretty important, “I know what’s happening to you.”  
Sam's face must have told his brother everything he needed to know, along with the small flinch that Sam couldn’t keep from his shoulders. It was followed swiftly by Sam's characteristic hunch over trying to hide from harm, it caused Dean to quickly shift from his seat so that he could kneel in front of Sam, “no Sam, don’t panic. I’ve known for some time that you were learning your powers again, I knew it was all you, so I never said anything, and I don’t think you’ve noticed but you sort of have glowing eyes when you get angry, one black one gold.”

Sam shook his head, he hadn’t known that but hung his head avoiding looking at his brother, sure that some snarky comment was coming next, “no Sam, don’t hide from me, I don’t care you’re still my baby brother. I know I haven’t given you much cause to believe me over the years, but, I have only ever wanted the best for you, Gabriel…”

Sam pulled back with a huff, he did not want to hear about him, “Sam, please, he loves you. I know he does. He just… there’s something there that’s stopping him from coming back and only you can figure that out.”

“You’re really not mad that I'm… what I am?”

“No Sam, do you have a name yet?” he watched Sam perk up a bit and knew he was in for a small lecture on all the things his brother had found out, before he watched him hesitate, he had truly done some damage to his brother over the years. He knew he hadn’t handled the demon powers well or him being soulless or any number of other things, he would have to try harder to make his brother see.

Dean listened as Sam told him all about Nephalems and what some of the lore was. Basically, he was almost impossible to kill, could use pretty much everything either species could with the added bonus of having archangel grace as his own now. He also mentioned some of the characteristics that he was likely to get including potential wings, all though he watched his brother add his eye colour to the notes he had made. “Wings Sammy?”

“Yeah, De, wings. I had hoped I wouldn’t get any but my shoulder blades have been aching all week so I think I will be getting some. I was not looking forward to explaining this all but I'm glad you’re taking this so well.” And Dean was pleased to hear it. He cocked his head at his little brother, maybe that was something he could do to help his brother…

“When they start growing in let me know ill reach all the places you can’t, and I’ll talk to Lucifer about what I need to do, it might be he needs to be there to help… or maybe Gabriel…” Dean watched his brothers eyes flood but no tears fell, he had no idea what his brother was thinking but he had to get them back together it was clearly hurting both parties and Dean had no idea what to do about it. Maybe he would discuss it with Lucifer when he talked to him about Sam's wings. 

“I’m glad you’re willing to talk to Lucifer Dean. I always thought you hated the fact we became friends.”

“He saved you Sammy, in the end that’s all that matters, he protected you against his own mate, for me that stands higher than anything he did under the influence of Amara’s mark. Which I can safely say is not something that anybody should ever feel.” Sam's smile at that brightened Dean's day. He hadn’t seen his brother smile like that in what felt a lifetime. ‘It has been a lifetime.’ He reminded himself. “So, wings….”

He watched Sam’s smile crack into a chuckle and felt slightly proud of himself, he’d broken his emo brother out of his funk even if only for a little while, “yeah, wings. I'm not sure what to do but id appreciate any help Dean, and thank you De, for trusting Lucifer. Even if it’s just for me.”

Dean read between the lines, ‘even if it is me, and that’s hard to do after everything.’ He checked a sigh still seeing his brother in a happy little place and not wanting to break it just yet. “Any idea why this happened?”

“It was the grace that gave me the use of my demon born powers in the first place. I guess it started when I was soulless. I didn’t care what you thought then, I just knew I was a better hunter because of it.” Sam shrugged, he was secretly surprised at Dean, never thought after everything his brother would ever trust him completely ever again, but it seemed that his brother had learnt the one thing that they had always struggled with, letting go. 

“And now, you can geek to your hearts content right? No more pesky sleep! You and the angels should have all the fun. No late-night naked twister without me to ogle Cas and no letting Lucifer play pranks with Gabriel otherwise it’ll be a nightmare!” Dean chuckled at his own jokes and moved to his brother’s side and placed a light hand on his gigantor brothers’ shoulder, “no more chick flick moments!”  
Sam cocked his head to the side with a small smirk, “Jerk.”

“Bitch.” And with that Dean left his brothers side feeling accomplished and determined as he searched out a couple of archangels. His own angel he’d corner later.

\------ PAGE BREAK --------

Gabriel shifted back from his hiding place behind the stacks, he’d been in there since last night but had been avoiding Sam like the plague. He’d heard their entire conversation and he had noticed the amount of times Sam had skipped passed any comment made about him. Well almost there was that huff he knew Sam didn’t believe his brother, but Dean had been right, for once. He did still love Sam and there was something holding him back. Each archangel had been told when they come of age when they would die. Gabriel's had been the day they were to return from the apocalypse world, protecting his mate. That, however, had not happened. He was still here, and he wasn’t sure what to make of that. He had prayed to his father in the hopes of finding the answer and, as was standard for God, there was no answer. He checked a sigh before a slinked out the back door of the library stacks and down the corridor. 

He had messed up his own mate in so many ways to protect him from something that hadn’t happened, and he had no idea if he could fix it… or if he should. It was obvious Dean thought he should, he knew without even asking Castiel that he would side with his own mate. But his other brother… that was the loose cannon. Maybe he should risk Lucifer’s wrath and ask him. 

As if summoned by his thoughts Gabriel found himself almost colliding with his brother, “hello Jibrāʾīl.”

“No, Lucifer, don’t call me that name. I haven’t gone by that name since I was shiny and new, I don’t deserve it any more. I have long since stopped being the strength of god. If I was still that Archangel even Michael would not stop me. You know this.” Maybe seeking his brother was a bad idea. He made to move passed his brother and on to somewhere else, but he walked straight into his brothers, now visible, bright morning coloured main wing. He was surprised to see his brothers wing in such good shape. He smirked and ducked under, barely getting tickled by a pink/purple primary just to get his brothers second wings coverts in his face. He huffed and shifted back to face his brother. “What do you want Lucifer?”

“Yes, Gabriel, you should try and sort this out.” Gabriel sighed, he should never have underestimated his brother. “Also, your lack of faith in father is the only reason for your strength waning. The prophet Chuck?”  
Lucifer waited for Gabriel to nod, “Not a prophet, it’s dad.”

With that Gabriel disappeared. Lucifer chuckled, Chuck was going to hate him but nothing new there.

\------PAGE BREAK--------

Sam noticed the second Gabriel left the building. The longer he was gone the ornerier he got. He didn’t even know why, he’d known that Gabriel would eventually leave, it took a few days for Lucifer to realise the reason for his vessels sour attitude. It took another few days to corner his vessel or he could get more than a few words out, “Sam, he didn’t leave permanently. He’s gone to see dad.”

The smile Sam sent his way was cold and mirthless, it didn’t matter what Gabriel was doing did it? He'd made his choice it was blatant to him, why not everyone else? Sam shook his head and shifted to move from the room, “it doesn’t matter Lucifer, he’s made his mind up, I'm the fool that’s spent 8 years loving him.”

Gabriel, however, wasn’t having much luck, every time he thought he’d tracked his father down he would disappear. He was the fastest angel in history but even he didn’t stack up to his fathers disappearing act. Eventually he changed tactics and switch to what little pagan magic he had left and started teleporting after his father, it was this that finally got him in a room long enough to holt his father’s escape, “Stop, you’re being a child! I came for closure not to bring you back, asshat.”

The mirth on his father face told him all he needed to know, “what do you need closure on?”

“I'm supposed to be dead.”

“No, I lied. I do that I’m a writer after all.”

“You’re a dick after all. All your children that have died in your service. The Winchesters, me and Lucifer, was all of it just part of your little novel?” Gabriel resisted the urge to stamp his foot like the child he'd accused his father of being but crossed his arms tight against his shirt. “I fucked up my bond with Sam because I couldn’t stand breaking him in that way, and you are telling me you lied!!!!”

“I’m sorry Gabriel.”

“No, you’re not, stop lying. I was your strength once. However, you left, you left Lucifer and Michael to rip their own bond apart and turn the world into some battle ground and I lost my faith and with it the strength to stop any of it from happening.” The all-encompassing bitch face that settled across Gabriel's normally soft features would have made Sam proud, it made Chuck secretly proud of his son, “this wasn’t about letting us grow up, this was let’s see how this pans out and if not ill make another. Did you ever think that maybe just maybe none of your worlds work because you weren’t there?

In fact, doesn’t matter. I want to know that, If I can ever in a million ages, I can get Sam to forgive me I can get my bond back, that’s all.” Chuck hung his head his youngest archangel was right of course but that wasn’t what he had to deal with now. 

“Yes, you are free to re-forge your bond with Sam.” He sighed and slumped into a seat, “I really am sorry Gabriel.”

“Sure, if you were sorry, you would fix this, yet it wouldn’t make that much of a difference. I’ve had to tell you.” With that Gabriel disappeared with a click of his fingers clearly using his pagan powers instead of his grace as more of ‘fuck you’ to his father. He landed haphazardly in the bunker, his pagan powers a lot more ropey over greater distances but he couldn’t help the middle finger action. 

Gabriel took the chance to straighten himself out and take a breath. He needed to think over the information running rampant through his brain. His father had lied, he was never meant to die. He had ruined his relationship for a lie from his father. He slumped in a near by chair and groaned. His head made a spectacular bang when it met the hardwood of the library table. What was he supposed to do now? He knew Sam would never accept his story. 

“Um, Gabriel? You ok?” Gabriel shot up in his seat like he had been struck by lightning, there before him was Sam, looking for all the world like he cared. It gave him the most all mighty swell of hope followed swiftly by guilt which involuntarily made him hang his head, now or never, he supposed.

“No Sam, I am not alright. I made decisions based on my fathers supposed truths and ruined everything I ever loved.” It was mumbled and barely audible, except Sam could hear it clear as day now. “I should never have trusted him, even with my death day.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, when the four of us came of age, so to speak, he told each of us the day and means to our death. Mine was in the apocalypse world, by Michael's hand on the 11 August 2018.” Gabriel heard the intake sharp intake of Sam's gasp and winced, awaiting the barrage he was sure to get for this.

“You knew I’d be there.” Gabriel nodded, of course he did, he known since he'd been delivered to the boys by Ketch. Gabriel watched Sam's face flick between varying degrees of emotion too quickly to keep up with, “you never even hinted.”

“What was I supposed to say Sam? Sorry but if I don’t end this now one or both us will die in another world on this date.” Gabriel grumbled, he didn’t expect this conversation to end well, “I’m leaving because I love you too much to hurt you by letting you watching me die, please Sam as if you would let me leave. 

Honestly, I was gonna come back, ignore it. Hope that it never happened, try and get both of us to stay here on that day, change the prophecy, but Asmadouche happened before I could come back. I was going to come back explain the whole bond breaking thing but then I was too weak to keep hold of my half, so it didn’t matter, and when I returned, I figured I had my opportunity to save you, to keep you alive, even if it was hating me. But then I never expected to be alive to see your hatred of me.” Gabriel let out a long heavy sigh. He hung his head so his longish hair could cover his face. He figured the verbal sewage that he’d just let out was enough. He had done some horrid things to cement Sam’s hatred of him, including roping Rowena in on the act. It had gone down like a lead balloon with Sam, but he didn’t know that it was all an act. Something concocted between he and the witch. “Yet he lied, I was never supposed to die. I don’t have a day of death, least one that can be calculated in human time. “

“You should have told me.” With that Sam left. Gabriel didn’t lift his head to watch he just listened to the retreating footsteps, his head reuniting with the solid wood table.


	5. the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of it. I've lost interest in where this story was going so I've just finished it off. If there is anything you would like to see in this story don't hesitate to message me and ill add it here.

Sam’s surprise was the only reason he had asked Gabriel if he was okay. The reply had been revolutionary and hardened the soft cement of his hatred for Chuck, after everything that man had done it was of no surprise to Sam when the weight of hate settled in his gut, curling around the unsurety and loathing of Gabriel, though that was twisting in to loathing of the way Gabriel handled the situation, then loathing of the man himself. Sam knew this as sure as he knew the dawn would come tomorrow.   
Sam sighed and ran his hand through his long hair, it was no secret he still loved Gabriel. Loved him so much it hurt, but it was also no secret that Gabriel had been pushing Sam away, and now he knew the reason why Sam wasn’t sure what to think anymore. He had thought that Gabriel didn’t love him, that when he had come back he’d regretted the bond they'd made and was hoping to anger Sam enough to leave him alone. Now that he knew Gabriel loved him, that everything he had done had been to save him from a greater pain…. He was conflicted. He wanted to hate Gabriel for what he had put him through, for not giving him a choice. However he knew Gabriel would never done something like this without a good reason. He learnt that lesson the hard way.  
Sam slumped into the small chair in the corner of his sparse room, his head landing heavily in his hands. He would never get any sleep at this rate if he couldn’t figure out what to do. It had been clear that Gabriel regretted his decision profusely. Sam was so deep in his thoughts he didn’t even hear his door creak open quietly. “Sam?”  
Sam’s head flew up almost giving himself a crick in the neck. “Gabriel.”  
“Sorry, you were thinking pretty hard, I could hear you from the library.” Sam blushed, his thoughts had done a few twists and turns concerning Gabriel, memories, thoughts, considerations of where he wanted to go with this now. “It’s okay Sam, I understand. I knew going into what I had planned that we never be able to go back. But I would like to set a few things straight. I never slept with Rowena, I told her what I wanted to do and she’s very fond of you Sam, so she agreed.  
Also, its true what I said, I never really wanted to break our bond. I took your half and stored it with me, I’m sorry that hurt so much but I didn’t want Lucifer finding you through me if he ever got hold of me. He knew I was alive, he knew it wasn’t me. For start it was only a Seraph’s blade and he taught me everything I know about copies, he could feel it. He let me run, thinking he would catch up with me. He never got the chance, Loki sold me off pretty quick knowing that Lucifer was searching for me.” Gabriel looked both heartbroken at the events and resigned to his fate, the laughing lines around his eyes were deepened and were now verging on worry lines. His normally vibrant golden eyes were a dull colour, like that ring your mum wore that need a good polish. Sam watched as Gabriel’s hands rung around each other pulling the skin tight and reddening it into a tortured deep red colour. Sam stood, startling Gabriel, and grabbed his hands separating them softly and slowly caressed and eased the deep red away. “Sam what are you doing?”  
“You were ringing your hands raw Gabe, you shouldn’t do that.” Gabriel looked down at his hands encompassed by Sam’s massive hands to see that he was right, his hands even after being separated and soothed were still a bright angry red. “Gabe, do you wish we could start over?”  
“Back at the beginning? Or just pass over the heartbreak and begin again?” Both valid questions Sam thought, he didn’t really want either of those, the heartbreak was integral to who they were and if they went back to the beginning, they would make the same mistakes.   
“Gabe let’s just try again. Slowly. Very slowly. I’m still all kinds of messed up about everything, as far back as Elysian but I love you. I have always loved you and even if we can’t do this, I will love you, ‘til my dying breath and into the cell I’m sure is awaiting me in hell.” Sam tried to open both his mind and his expression for Gabriel to just browse as he pleased. He knew Gabriel was hesitant, but Sam had spent the better part of a decade wanting his angel in his arms again, Gabriel’s plans hadn’t stopped him the last time he wasn’t going to let that happen again. He watched Gabriel’s face morph into a slow bright smile as he clearly caught that thought.   
“You aren’t going to hell Sammy; your soul is too bright for hell.” Before Sam could even think of a sassy reply to that he found Gabriel attached to his lips nibbling and pleading for access. He dove in like a man starving. Gabriel tasted different, not as sweet as he used to, but Sam quickly got used to it. He pulled back slowly, as if forcing himself to. He knew if he didn’t then they would move much quicker than they should. They ended the evening curled up together on Sam’s bed.


End file.
